2016 will always be bittersweet to me. Though some things were great, like getting married and “settling down” in Connecticut with my husband and our fur-baby, I am looking forward to 2017. For the longest time it seemed like this year would never arrive. I remember my first enrollment for graduate school in 2012 when I though “I can’t believe I’m doing this and I can’t believe it will take 5 years, I wonder what 2017 will be like?”.
*insert fast forward noise here* Anyways, this year I didn’t make any resolutions. Instead, I have chosen a word. I realize it’s common and not terribly unique but it’s the word I need this year. Ready? The word is: PEACE.
Suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder it’s common for me to overthink and ruminate about worst-case scenarios. As I grow (mentally of course) I want to improve myself and actively work towards reducing my anxiety and increasing my inner peace. This of course is easier said than done.
Here is where I know I need peace this year:
- Peace in trusting the uncertainty.
- Peace in applying to post-doctoral fellowship programs.
- Peace in knowing that if it doesn’t happen, it is not a reflection of myself and I can still be a great professional.
- Peace in myself for being almost done with one of my biggest goals, my doctorate degree.
- Peace in knowing that as much as I love and adore my family, I am also happy with some distance between us.
- Peace in our home as we reach and pass our 1 year married anniversary.
- Peace in loving myself (it’s okay to need self-care, it’s okay to some days struggle to eat).
- Peace in myself so I may let go of exterior negativity.
“Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.” – Henri Nouwen
Do you have a word for this year?